When we lost Natalie in stillbirth, it was one of the worst times of my life. She was at 35 weeks and I was getting ready for her birth. At the time, I believed I would never be happy or go about finding joy again.
But you know what? One of the midwives said to us that during our grief, we would find occasions where we would laugh and we needed to laugh in those times and find joy in them because that is what Natalie would have wanted. If she had gone to term and been born and lived, we would have easily been able to have joy in the days ahead.
And even the very first day we came home from the hospital, Kevin and I were looking at photos, and one of the cats took advantage of our concentration and put her head down and started drinking from my husband’s water glass! Both of us remembered what we had been told and just laughed at the cat doing this!
Finding joy in the every day is not always easy, but when you do find something to be joyful about, no matter the circumstances, be joyful. There are always small things to be joyful about.
Over these last years, I have made a conscious effort to be grateful for what we have. And no, it’s not always easy to do so. There are days I don’t WANT to be thankful but I know if I want to find joy in the ordinary, everyday things in life I need to be thankful.
There will be days you don’t want to be full of gratitude for what you have.
You may not even WANT to be thankful or just take things for granted that you have but to find joy in them you need that. Joy is not a feeling that comes along, you have to cultivate it and before you can be joyful about things, you need gratitude.
Make the Choice
Joy should be part of your life, but it’s a choice that you make, not just a feeling you have. And you can be joyful over small or big things. Within your everyday life things are there to be enjoyed but if you don’t make the choice, you won’t enjoy it.