Creative Self: Finding Trust and Timing

Have you ever entered a competition without the expectation of winning?

I write poetry for enjoyment and years ago, a friend of mine would find competitions for me to enter and sometimes I won, sometimes I didn’t.

But you know what? Whether I won or lost wasn’t really the issue at the time. The important thing was me actually taking part in and entering these things. You see, I had no self-worth at all.

And she encouraged me to believe that I was capable and could actually win.

The first time she suggested it, I backed away in horror, but she insisted that I enter this thing and filled out the form for me. All I had to do was find the poem and post it. I wasn’t sure enough of what I had done to be able to choose and so I got her to make the choice for me.

In fact, thinking back, she may have had to post it for me as well, I can’t quite remember.

The second time, she told me that I would have to choose the poems to send. But I had no idea of how I would choose a poem. So she explained to me that if I felt moved by what I had written, then others would too and that would be what made the difference for me.

So I chose the poems and sent them off and for the second time, I got printed in a book of poems. If you want to know the honest truth, I have been printed four times in four different books. And that’s ok because although I didn’t enjoy entering these competitions she found when I did see my poem, in print in a book, it made me feel really proud.

Now for years, I haven’t entered any poetry competitions and in fact, haven’t written as much poetry as I used to. I have been pretty much neglecting that part of my creativity. I’m not thinking I will write a poem a day or that I will be published in many more books.

However, this side of my creative self has been ignored, as has my digital art.

At this point, I just want you to know that my digital art is nowhere near competition level so it’s not going to be entered into anything.

My goodness, what do you think I can learn from this?

Yes, it’s important for me not to deny my creative self as I have been doing for so long. I have been “topping myself up” by going and painting ceramics every so often. But that doesn’t really cover my creative self’s need.

At some point in every week, I need to make time for my creative self.

They are the cornerstone of my existence and need expression. No, I’m not going to be successful in every application – I wasn’t back then. But if I don’t write something to actually send, there’s not even a chance of me winning.

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If you want to come along with me and learn together, you can. You don’t have to start out on your journey alone. My creative self is longing for expression and if yours is calling you, for goodness’ sake, answer in the affirmative and get going.